“It’s not my fault”

Blaming others is fun.

But it’s definitely not healthy.

When we fail or run into a difficult situation, our default defense mechanism is to blame something or someone.

In psychology, this is called victim playing.

This happens because playing the victim is always the easiest way to convince ourselves that whatever happened, we were helpless and were not responsible for it.

It helps us avoid taking responsibility for a situation.

Moreover, we also lean on playing the victim card when we face difficult situations, and we don’t invest enough time to rationally develop a healthy coping mechanism.

We think that by putting the blame on an uncontrollable event, we save ourselves from being in an awkward position.

Let me give you some examples, starting with the most common one:

  1. When we arrive late at the office, we usually blame the traffic when in reality, we don’t wake up on time.

    As designers, we play the victim card in our own fashion:

2. When our design brief has some pre-defined rules, we complain that there isn’t much room to play.

And when the client gives us complete freedom of design, we tend to think that the client doesn’t have enough laid out rules, to begin with.

3. When we do a logo redesign for a bad mark, we complain that the current logo is so bad that it hinders our ability to think creatively.

And when the logo that needs to be redesigned is good, we say that the current logo is already so good that we can’t seem to think of a better solution.

4. During a logo design project, when we’re stuck, we usually say that it’s a creative block (sometimes it does happen).

But even after taking lots of breaks, when we don’t reach an appropriate solution, we say things like;

  • the name of the brand is too long, or
  • the character combination is too conflicting to create a lettermark out of the brand initials.

We all need to be mindful of our thoughts and make sure that we don’t go towards that victim-playing mindset.

Otherwise, we will eventually become a non-productive whining machine.

So, how to overcome this, you ask?

  1. Believe that you have control over your life and circumstances. We already have control, we just have to believe in ourselves
  2. Take responsibility for your actions in every situation
  3. Accept reality. If you’re not good at something, take note of it and strive harder to be better
  4. Practice gratitude
  5. Stop focusing on only yourself and start to understand the bigger picture. Build empathy.
  6. Stay moderate in your thoughts. Don’t be too harsh on yourself but at the same time, don’t pamper yourself too much

As a creative, mindset is the driving force of creativity.

So, we need to keep a check on our thoughts so we don’t fall into the trap of the victim state.

Have you been a victim of this mindset? How did you overcome it?